My BFF

Everyone has a best friend, or maybe several. If you are lucky enough to have more than one, then you are blessed. I have been lucky, I have several I call my best 'buds'. But........there is always one that you can count on no matter what. It doesn't matter what you say, what you do, or the mess you might have gotten yourself into, that one person is always there for you. They listen and they don't judge you. What you say to them never never goes any further than the room your in. They help you see when you are wrong, and give you guidance to get to the right place. They wipe the tears from your face when you cry, and tell you not to worry, the sun will come up tomorrow. They defend you to others when you have taken a stand. They give you comfort when someone you love dies and most importantly they love you unconditionally.

If you have someone in your life like that, HANG on for dear life, because they don't come along very often. My best friend in life is no longer here. He has gone on to a better purpose and place. I miss him more than I could ever put into words on this page. He was my best friend, my soul mate, and the love of my life. There is an empty space in my soul for my BFF, oh how I miss him. I miss the guidance, the hugs, and just knowing he would be there no matter what. I miss the simple things he did, but mostly I miss hearing those three little words he said every single day for 34 years 3 months and 26 days......"I LOVE YOU"

Thank you Michelle for the memory. I was touched.

Here I Am

Here I am, deal with it.
My daughters in law do this, so thought I would try it. It's much better than reading a newspaper, and a whole lot more entertaining. I enjoy reading theirs and I hope you enjoy mine.

Retirement

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.Old age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body­- but I don't agonize over it for long. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.Whose business is it if I choose to read until 4 am, and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50's & 60ies, and if I at the same time wish to weep over a lost love, I will. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten ­ and I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray(and only Sara knows for sure), and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say "no", and mean it. I can say "yes", and mean it. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer the question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. For the first time in my life, I don't have to have a reason to do the things I want to do. If I want to play games on the computer all day, lay on the couch and watch old movies for hours or don't want to go to dinner or a movie, I have earned that right. I have put in my time doing everything for others, so now I can be a bit selfish without feeling guilty.I sometimes feel sorry for the young. They face a far different world than I knew growing up, where we feared the law, respected the old, the flag, our country. I never felt the need to use filthy language in order to express myself. And they too will grow old someday.I am grateful to have been born when I was, into a kinder, gentler world. Yes, I like being old and retired!